We’re on the list

Rudy Norman
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Me and da Misses are both in the group of 500,000 plus people in this country that had their information lost by the federal government when someone forgot where they put the hard drive with the student loan folks on it.

I don’t think Obama is going to be giving this person the nuclear weapons code numbers anytime soon, do you?

I’ve been taking the whole situation rather well, if you ask me. The wife, on the other hand is ready to rip someone’s head off and feed it to the coyotes up on the ridge. Some sweet, she is.

Then again, when you think about it, maybe it IS something we should be more concerned about.

A few weeks ago we both found out through friends and social media that there was a phone number you could call to find out if you were affected. We both called, and that’s how we found out we were on the list. The lady on the phone told me that they would be sending me a letter and I should get it ‘in a couple of days.’

That letter was supposed to give us cautionary steps that would prevent us suffering any life-altering damage because of the situation. We still haven’t received the letter after almost a month. Good thing it wasn’t important, eh?

Then as I thought about it more, I kept asking myself the same question: why in the world did I have to phone them? Shouldn’t it be the other way around?

My goodness, I’ve been sitting home, and gotten calls from these people all hours of the day to inform me that the bank hasn’t processed my payment yet, and they’ve yet to receive it.

It’s like a tsunami is coming, my son – they try and try and try, until finally you pick up the phone. They thusly inform you that you are ‘behind on your monthly commitment’ and this situation needs to be rectified RIGHT AWAY!

You explain that it takes a couple days for the payment to transfer through the bank, and they calm down a bit. Then they try to sell you on the automatic withdrawal so that they can go into your account and take their money whenever they want.

Sure, that sounds like a great idea. Or not.

Then of course, you go to the mail, and you find a letter from them informing you of exactly what they just said on the phone.

They send you this letter because you don’t pick up the phone for a 1-800 number at 8:30 in the morning. It just isn’t something regular people do.

You know the letter is important, usually, because its printed on pink paper. I always secretly hope that it’s just the federal government firing me from having to pay them anymore money, but always end up disappointed.

It’s ironic, you know, how they’re able to call when they think you’ve screwed up, but they can’t call when they’ve screwed up. In fact, it’s even more ironic that they don’t even tell you they screwed up until a couple of months after it happened.

I guess they figure they’d get a couple months’ worth of payments out of us before we got really mad.

I have to go calm the wife down. I wouldn’t want to be a Student Loan operator these days, let me tell you.

– Rudy Norman

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