Clearly stated

This isn't exactly "rebel without a cause" stuff here. I have too much time on my hands. But a recent road trip over four days across the province had me pondering the subject of hats.

More specifically, the wearing of hats by men indoors. You could say, I'm trying to stay on top of the subject of hats. You probably won't care one way or the other, but it bugged me enough to ask you about it. Just indulge me for now.

When I travel for work, I normally have to overnight in the hotels across the province. I have my meals there, because it's convenient. You should also know that I generally do not wear a hat myself. My head is not shaped properly for hats, because every time I put one on, it makes me look dorky.

OK, more dorky than usual. You're so funny. I risk increased dorkiness if my head gets too cold, or I need to shade my eyes. I will don a hat for a reason. Otherwise, I find they're just a pain in the butt - they're not necessary.

This brings me to the ubiquitous wearing of ball caps by men who do not remove them, even after they get indoors. Would someone please explain why the wearing of caps indoors has apparently become acceptable?

I can't even figure out why it vexes me as it does, though I'm pretty sure it has something to do with being born squarely in the middle of the last century, which means we were taught to remove our hats when we entered a room where there were other people. I think it had something to do with etiquette, or good manners, or some other vague notion that may also have gone out of style. But what do I know? It's a rhetorical question you don't need to answer. Really.

I'm not alone in this. While eating my meal and feeling vexed by the cap-wearing gentlemen at another table in a hotel restaurant, the waitress came around and asked the blokes to please remove their hats.

She must have read my mind, which was possible, seeing as I wasn't wearing a hat. I tried to probe their minds about why they kept their hats on, but I couldn't get through, likely because they were wearing hats. I didn't bother probing after that. I had lost interest. It's only hats, which is nowhere near rocket science, but interestingly, close to brain surgery. Don't ask me how if you can't see that.

A key element here is style. After all, my generation did make bellbottoms and moptop haircuts acceptable for awhile, but only after the preceding generation began to expire.

This, if I think about it, may make it acceptable for some to choose to wear a ball cap to one side, with the peak over your left ear instead of your eyes. It does beg the question as to why it might be necessary to shade one's left ear. There are also a great many of us that will look at a sideways-mounted ball cap and immediately think: Dork. Some of us have a keen sense of what looks dorky, and here, I refer to my comments above.

Given the number of people that choose to wear caps everywhere they go, or wear them sideways, it would appear my interests are not shared by you. That's OK. But ask yourself this: Why is this a mostly male phenomenon? Is this kind of dorkiness gender specific? Or is it a simple case of missing and unused hat racks?

Wearing one's hat, sideways or otherwise, became necessary, because there is no place to put them once indoors. I hope it's that, and not the style thing. Otherwise, I'm a dork. Surrounded by countless other dorks. Just waitin' to expire, and hatless by choice.